My oldest son has spent the last week planning for today.
His best friend was having a birthday sleep over at the lake -house
of a friend.
The boys (ranging from 15 to 18 years old)were on the phone
all week making plans.
His father and I dropped a few hundred bucks on
"Air Soft" guns and snacks that none of the boys are
really allowed to eat in their own homes- so you can imagine what
was on the list.
There would be no girlfriends or sisters to distract anyone or ruin
the fun.
The chaperones are all fathers...so that basically means no
Mom's to tell them to stop burping, farting, and quoting
"Napoleon Dynamite".
I think he secretly thought( at some point) I would tell that he could not go.
I admit the thought had crossed my mind- but he was so excited that I
had to just get over it.
So ......I helped him get all of his things( sleeping bag, swimsuit,church
clothes, shaving kit, movies, and Air Soft "artillery) loaded into the van.
One of his buddies came over to hitch a ride and we were off.
A little while later we pulled up to the lake house.
A herd of teenagers greeted us at the gate to help unload the van.
After everything was unloaded, kisses were given out, life jacket
warnings repeated, and"grounded for life" threats were made-
I watched my almost 6 ft tall little boy wave good-bye and disappear
into the house with his friends.
I felt a lump in my throat and my eyes started to fill with tears.
A few miles down the road I managed to compose myself
enough to stop crying and try to figure out why I was so emotional .
After all, he was almost 15 years old and as mature as most men twice his age......
and then I realized...that was it................
I wasn't crying because he was away from home and I thought that he
might need me.
I was crying because he was away from home and- for the first time in 15 years
- I knew that he did not need me.
A sad, sad day for a Mama.......
But it has been a happy , happy day for him.
Peace.
Deep down, he'll ALWAYS need his
ReplyDeletemama;-)...but that 'letting go' stuff we have to do as parents, and I think especially as moms, has got to be the hardest... especially, I imagine, as they get older and more independent!!!
You got me thinking tonight, or should I say this morning (4:30am-couldn't sleep!)...Nathan is 9 and he's HALF way to 18 already!!
Where does the time go!
Hope you're getting some sleep....and not looking at the clock too much:-)!
I really dont look forward to any of those moments of life to come I am still recovering from them starting school!!
ReplyDeleteHUGZ mate!!! You were very brave!
It IS so hard on a mama when we realize just how big our kids have gotten. Obviously you've raised him well, though! Being a mom is so tough sometimes, but worth every second :)
ReplyDeleteAwww, I know my time is coming too.
ReplyDeleteAh, yes... another one of those "letting go" moments when you realize your child is growing up!! I had one of those moments recently, and had a big ugly cry over it too. You are a good mama, Andrea... and somewhere inside that 6 foot tall man-body is part of him that will ALWAYS be your little boy.
ReplyDeletexoxo
oh, that's so sweet! i know what you mean and my son's only almost FOUR!!!!! he's getting more and more confident and needs me less and less. i can't imagine seeing him at 15! it goes so fast! (sniff, sniff)
ReplyDeleteI know that!!!
ReplyDeleteCongrats on DTC, what a relief that must be!!!!
I am back to happy again, thanks for letting me come over here and rant, haha
This post almost made me cry, gosh I know time flies then they have a whole new life without the need of mama anymore. Independent is good in away and bad in another way. I feel for you girl, he will still need ya...
ReplyDeleteok. i almost started crying at the end? these adoption hormones stink!;)
ReplyDeleteohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....you should have posted a "kleenex warning" on that one! update us on how he enjoyed the sleepover!
ReplyDeleteI have heard that you start letting go of your kids the minute they are born... since mine is only 6 I haven't had to face too much of this myself yet, but I can imagine those tears! We Moms all understand.....
ReplyDelete