Love Love Love

this book.

It is a short read and not the "same ole'- same ole' ".

Available on Amazon new or used.

LOOKY! LOOKY!

http://www.scribd.com/full/52038029?access_key=key-11illlrkuy3mi73pli6l

You guys HAVE GOT to take a look at this! My friend over at LifeTree Books took our travel pictures (from Adam AND Rebekah's trips) and made photo books for my kiddos. We did this a few years back with Mary Elizabeth and she has worn the pages through. She has free access to HER book and MY pictures and photo albums stay intact. Janell can do anything you'd like: add text, change colors, add your favorite poems- she even took one of Stacy's blogs from our travel journal and added it to one of our pages! It was a complete surprise and I teared up. She is an adoptive mom...so she totally "gets" what is important when you mention the words "adoption travel". I gave her free reign. Boy am I glad I did...I love it! I cannot wait for Rebekah to see her book and after seeing this-Adam wants his NOW! So take a few seconds , hit the link above ,and check it Rebekah's Book and THEN scroll down my sidebar and hit the LIFETREE BADGE to see what these guys have to offer you and your family.

DONE

My Social worker should be done with our home study this week.

I should be excited....but I am not.

I know in my heart that this is the last Adoption Trip that we will make to China.

I have been in denial, but the closer we get to reviewing files...the more I have had to come to terms with it.

I am tearing up, alot.

Very out of character for me..It take a lot to make me cry.

No more dossiers.

No more referrals.

No more packing lists.

No more embassy trips.

No more babies.

Done.

Stacy and I have discussed it and like everyone else who "calls it quits" , we have many reasons- good reasons- sane reasons....but it still doesn't feel good.

It is a strange place to be.

I go from feeling guilty to sad to mad to blessed to humbled to determined to guilty.

I imagine that I will feel differently when I have a 4 year old and a 2 year old and a ?? year old screaming for a cookie at the same time- but right now it just sucks...plain and simple.

Just one more of those "parenting" things that sneaks up on you.

I knew we'd stop having children "one day"-

I just didn't think "one day" would be here so soon.

On a more Perky note- I am off to YOU BELONG to start a new journal for the Caboose/s.

If you are new around here and you haven't had a chance to read my husband's take on our adoption trips- Feel free to hop over to my sidebar and check out the journals from our last two trips.

He really needs a blog of his own....seriously...just a fun guy.

How?

So can anyone tell me how an attachment parent is supposed to make the trip with two...

and by two- i mean if we are matched with 2 little monkeys.

I am having a hard time getting Stacy to consider adopting out of birth order( he is TOTALLY against) so that means that there is a good chance that the newest little trouble-makers....er...sweethearts will be under the age of 2 1/2.

If you look at any of our adoption journals you'll see that most of the pictures

are of me walking around with a little one hanging on like a monkey in a banana tree.

Don't get me wrong,-I think strollers rock...we just use them as little as possible during our first weeks with our new child.

Our parenting style is not for everyone, mind you, but it works for us.

I try to spend those first precious weeks trying to figure out how my new baby ticks.

I watch. I listen. I smile. I let the baby nap on my chest so that he/she can hear my heart beat. I try to establish a rythm. I take mental notes.

'Doesn't like dairy. Mad cry. Hungry cry. Scared cry. Sleepy cry. Likes Daddy if Daddy has chocolate. "

We sleep together, we bathe together, we eat together, and I HOLD, HOLD, HOLD.

Which leads me back to my original question-

How is 1 Mama going to do this with 2 SN infant/toddlers?

What about carriers for 2 children ( One in front- One in back)?

Ive seen this done, but I have to tell ya...I'm not an Amazon warrior.

I have years of wear and tear on my back and hips from sports, horseback riding, and chasing kids... I honestly do not think I could physically carry 2 kids around at the same time.

Not more than ONCE , anyway.

Oh! and do they even SELL double strollers in China??

Do ya just get two?

That just seems like a bad idea... I mean how is Dad going to take pictures,

carry the diaper bags, and the shopping bags if he is pushing a stroller, too? :)

What if the kids "will not let Daddy hold" or worse "will not let Mama hold"?

What if one "likes" Mom and one doesn't??

What if (ala Rebekah) they will not sit in a high chair and they won't let Daddy hold??

How do you feed two kids sitting in your lap ?

Seriously...can you tell I am freaking out a little here?

I wake up in the middle of the night thinking about these things.

The "one at a time" deal has always worked out pretty well for us, so I really have no idea why this is stressing me so.

Maybe it is because Adam is 3 1/2 and Rebekah just turned 2 and I know how hard they can be, at times.

Does anyone have any ideas....or know where I can find a double stroller in China?

You know..just in case I need one. ;)

Back on Track

Today I mailed a load of HAGUE savvy info to my Social Worker-

This means that we are officially "back on track".


I must admit that I am a tad disappointed that we will not be traveling over summer vacation, as I had planned.

"Getting past myself" and accepting the fact that God's travel plans aren't always the same as My travel plans has been difficult.

My first reaction is to be ANGRY that I haven't gotten my way.


Spoiled? Yes! Shocker...to anyone who knows me.


I like to PLAN, PLAN, PLAN...and when those plans are changed for me...well you can imagine.

I keep telling myself that God is dealing with my "instant gratification issues". For some reason, that makes it easier to swallow.


I am happy that we are moving forward. Can't wait to see what is coming our way.

CAUTION: NOT A PERKY POST!

Sometime last week, Our social decided that she "did not feel up to completing /revising a Hague home study".

Yep- you read that correctly.

Can a person do that??

Well yes, apparently they can.

Not sure where we stand now.

We have an agency trying to fix things, a Un-revised HS sitting at the state level, and a file on some desk with our government holding almost a thousand dollars of our money that I am SURE they aren't interested in refunding.

I am trying to be patient and understanding and considerate and.....blah , blah, blah...When what I really am is ANGRY.

So angry that I am ready to call my agency( who is trying their best to FIX this mess)and BAG the whole thing....which will leave my family heartbroken, because we have already prepared our hearts for a new arrival AND two more children STILL waiting for a home to call their own.

Cannot make sense of it all...no matter how hard I try.

Not HAPPY today.

A Wonderful Project from My Friends at Living Tree Books!

Happy Monday everyone!

I will be starting a couple of new publishing projects that you have the opportunity to be part of. Participation is on a voluntary basis, but space is limited so you will want to sign up asap. Once completed, the books will be available for purchase online. This is your chance to share your child's story with the world!
The first project is a book that will be called "Wo Jiao Mikey!". The title's namesake is our son Mikey and simply means "My name is Mikey". The book will also include entries from 30 - 40 more children and will encapsulate the title theme into their stories as well. The inspiration for the book comes from our 7 year old son, Mikey, whom we adopted last year. As an orphan growing up in China his physical disabilities were considered "unlucky". If he remained in China, his future would have been very bleak with little hope of having a productive future. Mikey's story is not unique. There are thousands of children who have had their lives and futures radically changed through the blessing of adoption. My vision is to tell their story through the child's eyes and capture through family photos the miraculous transformation of the soul that takes place within a child when they are welcomed into a forever home and given an identity and unconditional love. There is limited space so please contact me asap if you are interested in sharing your child's story.

JANELL

**if you are interested in learning more- The Living Tree Badge is to the right.

For My Records...YAY!

Notice

March 11, 2011

Government departments and adoption agencies in receiving countries, In order to promote special needs child adoption and guarantee the basic interests of the orphaned and disabled children, CCAA decides to accept the adoption applications from female single applicants to adopt according to the requirements listed in this notice, starting from March 15, 2011
I. Female single applicants are allowed to adopt special focus children listed on the special Needs System of ccAA. One applicant can only adopt one special focus child at a time, with an interval of at least one year between two adoptions. n. The applicant shall have reached the age of 30 years and are under 50. For applicants over 50, the age difference between the child to be adopted and the applicant shall be no more than 45 years. III. The applicant shall provide her civil status certificate. Unmarried applicants shall provide certification for being single and non-homosexual; divorced applicants shall provide the divorce certificate of the last marriage; and widowed applicants shall provide the death certificate of their ex-spouse.
IV. Applicants shall be healthy both physically and mentally according to the requirements by CCAA for prospective adoptive couples. Applicants shall be law abiding with no criminal records, and have good moral quality and conduct.
V. The family annual income shall reach $10,000 per family member, including the prospective adoptee and the family net assets value should reach $100,000. The applicant shall have good medical insurance which can cover the medical expense of the adopted child.
VI. Applicants shall be experienced in child caring or be occupied in child-related fields, such as doctor, nurse, teacher, child psychological counselor, etc. It's best that the applicants have already had successful experience in caring for special needs children.
VII. The number of children in the applicant's family under the age of
18 years shall be no more than two, and the youngest one should have reached the age of 6 years old.
Vru. Applicants shall be fully prepared for adopting a special focus child. Social workers shall provide the following information fully and timely in the home study reports besides family visit interviews: 1. Adoption motive. The decision to adopt a special focus child shall be well-considered. Applicants shall be capable of caring for a special need child and be responsible for the well-being of the child.
2. The reason of being single and attitude towards marriage. Applicants shall have clear indication of willingness to appoint male figures as role models for the adopted child, and welcome male friends to join family gatherings. 3. Applicants shall have received inter-country adoption training and training specifically for special needs child adoption so as to understand fully the physical and psychological needs of special needs children.
4. Detailed nurturing and rehabilitation plan. Applicants shall be qualified personally and socially for caring special needs children and have wide social and family supporting network which can provide assistance any time. 5. other advantages for caring special needs children.
IX. Guardians appointed by the applicants shall provide written
Statement as consent to act as the guardian of the adopted child. X. If the applicant has a stable relationship and lives with a male partner, t he requirements of couple applicants shall be applied.

China Center of Adoption Affairs


SO IF YOUR SINGLE ~ PLEASE SEE PREVIOUS POST! :)

Fingerprint.......

appointments came over the weekend!

One step closer .

:)

"BABY" FRIENDS

BABY FRIENDS: The people you have to find to hang out with when you realize that you are 40 years old and most of your current friends have children preparing for college............and your still buying Baby slings and eco-friendly diapers.

Unfortunately(for me), most of these "Baby Friends "are in their EARLY 20's and tell you how much you remind them of "their MOM".

CAN YOU HEAR THAT PHONE RINGING???

No? Oh.....Maybe that WAKE-UP CALL was just for me. :)

Thanks, Dave!

"Your priorities, passions, goals, and fears are shown clearly

in the flow of your money"-Dave Ramsey




I have never been a huge fan of Dave Ramsey.

Basically, because he tells me that I shouldn't spend money when I want to and that I "should SAVE for the things that are important".


"No credit cards"....Seriously..are you kidding me?


I was more excited about my first credit card than I was for my first bra, kiss, car....you name it..

NOOOOO COMPARISON.

Remember that first piece of plastic like it was yesterday-
Have no idea about that "first kiss" thing.

Recently, my Uber-Fine Husband suggested that if we were going to bring home 2 children this go round(which will be or LAST, btw) we had to curb our spending...OK.....make that my spending and put back enough to cover our expenses - so that we will not owe Americ*n Expr*ss a kidney when we get home.

My Question , at this point, was "Whose Kidney are we talking about? Yours or Mine?"...
Cause I have read that men can lead perfectly normal lives with one kidney... Not a problem.

Then he started spouting off phrases like " Fewer AMAZON deliveries" , "Less Thai Take-Out & Drive Thru" , " No -THE CHILDREN'S PLACE- Buy TWO get ONE FREE sales" and "FLY COACH".

In a huff to prove that these expenses were not a "major" drain on our finances, I broke out the credit card statement.

Apparently ,Stacy had called Americ*n Expr*ss ahead of time and had them pad the bill , because there were NUMEROUS charges from these places that added up to quite a hefty sum.

I was in shock. Honestly in shock. I am so caught up in the day to day rituals of RUNNING a large family that I have no idea what it COSTS to feed, clothe,transport, and house a large family.
That falls under the heading of "MAN BUSINESS" at my house...My Job is to....well...everything else that IS NOT Man Stuff.

My husband has been so gracious over the years.
Not that I am extravagant , by any means, but when we have made these adoption trips(3, so far) he has written out checks, made reservations, paid room service bills,China Hospital Bills, purchased pricey tickets so that I could get at least ONE good nights sleep on the plane, let me spend whatever I wanted on souvenirs for the kids at home( and the babies in their home province) and has NEVER once called me down...Not One Single Time.

The mere thought of it brings me to tears. Not a single word.... Just a smile.

When I woke up today,I was determined to do what I could to make things easier( 2 adoptions are around 40 grand..I think...am I close Connie?).
As I was reading from one of my favorite books,100 Verses Every Mom Needs to Know, I came across Dave Ramsey's quote(above).

Suddenly, I had a new respect for the man.

He is CORRECT- 100%.

Where are my PRIORITIES?

Are they in China with a Baby who needs a Mama or are they at the Best Buy- 1/2 off Blu-Ray sale?

Matthew 6:24 says " You cannot be slaves of God and of Money".

So I have decided to be a slave of "the image of a little one peering out from the bars of an orphanage crib"..maybe two little ones.... What ever God has in store.

We will see.

In the meantime, I have to go and cancel some Amazon orders............ Sucks....But I'm doin' it. :)

BLOOMING..............

right before our eyes.


Gone is the shy little one who was content to
stand behind the curtain and watch the show.



She has decided that she is ready to be SEEN & HEARD.

We are loving every minute of it!


Look Out World!

Mary Elizabeth has arrived!

Just for my records- We have a daughter from Nanchang

Government sign in Nanchang:
"For a prosperous, powerful nation and a happy family, please use birth planning."


The one-child policy (simplified Chinese: 计划生育政策; traditional Chinese: 計劃生育政策; pinyin: jìhuà shēngyù zhèngcè; literally "policy of birth planning") refers to the one-child limitation on most families in the population control policy of the People's Republic of China (PRC).
The Chinese government refers to it under the official translation of family planning policy.
[1] It officially restricts the number of children married urban couples can have to one, although it allows exemptions for several cases, including rural couples, ethnic minorities, and parents without any siblings themselves.
[2] A spokesperson of the Committee on the One-Child Policy has said that approximately 35.9% of China's population is currently subject to the one-child restriction.
[3] The Special Administrative Regions of Hong Kong and Macau are completely exempted from the policy.
The policy was introduced in 1978 and initially applied to first-born children in the year of 1979. It was created by the Chinese government to alleviate social, economic, and environmental problems in China,[4] and authorities claim that the policy has prevented between 250 and 300 million births from its implementation until 2000,[2] and 400 million births from 1979 to 2010. The policy is controversial both within and outside China because of the manner in which the policy has been implemented, and because of concerns about negative social consequences.
[5] The policy has been implicated in an increase in forced abortions,[6] female infanticide, and underreporting[7] of female births, and has been suggested as a possible cause behind China's gender imbalance.
Nonetheless, a 2008 survey undertaken by the Pew Research Center reported that 76% of the Chinese population supports the policy.[8]
The policy is enforced at the provincial level through fines that are imposed based on the income of the family and other factors. Population and Family Planning Commissions (Chinese: 计划生育委员会) exist at every level of government to raise awareness about the issue and carry out registration and inspection work. Despite this policy, there are still many citizens that continue to have more than one child.[9]
In 2008, China's National Population and Family Planning Commission said that the policy will remain in place for at least another decade.
[10] In 2010, it was announced that the majority of the citizens first subject to the policy are no longer of reproductive age and it has been speculated that many citizens simply disregard or violate the policy in more recent years. Still, the deputy director of the Commission stated that the policy would remain unaltered until at least 2015.[11]

Couldn't YOU give me something else to do?

"I just do not think YOU have the right girl."

This is what I was thinking yesterday...oh let's say around 9 a.m.

Adam's oral surgery was scheduled for 6 a.m. at UMC- Jackson.

No problem, Jackson is an hour and a half away..we get up at 3, dress Adam and Rebekah- leave by 4- get there at 5:30 and have 30 minutes to spare.
Caleb keeps the older kids for the day and we are all good.
Perfect Plan..unless your husband hears the alarm , turns it off, goes back to sleep and wakes up again at 5:15 a.m...then , not so much.

Stacy calls U*M*C- they say "come on anyway and we'll work him in"...One of the perks of being "Dr. ?" when you have to make such calls.

We wake the kids, get loaded up, and we are off.

We get to U*M*C and I drop off Stacy and Adam.
Rebekah and I are hungry and I have not had coffee, so we leave them to get checked in .

Rebekah is crying and angry(so I think) because she cannot get out with Adam.
I listen to her wail for about 3 blocks ,until we pull into the Crack*r Barr*ll parking lot.

I turn off the car and turn to look at Rebekah.
"We are here", I say..right before Rebekah does her best EX0RCIST impression and proceeds to throw up all over the backseat, the floor, her car seat, and herself- before I can get out and get around to the back of the car to get to her.

We were in such a rush this morning that I had neglected to pack extra clothes for her and she was soaked and smelled pretty dang rank......I might add.

I took a box of wipes , took off all of her clothes and her NOW nasty shoes, and wiped her down from head to toe.

I take of my zipped hoodie and wrap her in it, cover her head with the hood, and go into Crack*r Barr*ll- where the welcome was " Good Morning! Welcome to..Oh My Goodness What Happened?"

As I explained the events of the last ten minutes, the employee helped us find a cute little outfit in a size 3 for our little wet ,smelly, princess.

We go to the bathroom and I clean Rebekah off( a little more) and dress her.

Rebekah was still saying that she was hungry , so we asked for a table.
My breakfast(and coffee, PTL) came and Rebekah took my plate (hers didn't look as good)and cleaned it off.

While she was eating, I called my husband and told him what was going on.
We agreed that I would go to Target, buy Rebekah some warmer clothes(Crack*r Barr*ll had only the spring clothes available),some shoes,something to clean the car seats and carpet with , some Febreeze, gas up, buy him some breakfast, and come to the hospital.
Adam should be in surgery by then and we could wait together.

So I do all of the above.
Car now smells like vomit and Febreeze... Nasty!..but It Looks Good.
Rebekah smells Good(thank you , Huggi*s Wipes) and Looks Good.
Car is gassed up and I have food for Stacy-so we are good.

I get back to the hospital and Adam has been in surgery for an hour...then 2 hours...then 2 and a half hours.

Rebekah is ill because she isn't at home and still feels pretty lousy.
Stacy is working hard to keep her occupied so that the other people in the waiting room will give us a break and NOT call security.

Finally ,the surgeon comes out to explain the hold up.
Adam has a very small mouth and his teeth are very tight.
They are dark and weak from the meds before his heart surgery and probably after his heart surgery..but even with that..he only had 5 cavities.
They capped his back teeth so that he doesn't have to go through this again and his front teeth had caps placed on the back to take care of the cavity between them and to make them stronger until they fall out...WHEW!
A lot of work for such a little man.

After the morphine started to wear off..Adam made it clear to the nurses that he was not happy- so they came to find me.
His face was swollen from the trauma, his jaw was swollen from the spacers, his lips were covered with blood and cracked, but he smiled as much as he could.

I sat there rocking him thinking about the days trials and I thought to myself "God...Really?
You have really put it on our hearts to bring home more children?!?! I am getting old, and I am getting tired,and these two aren't even potty trained yet, and we just got the last two adoptions paid off- with interest(thanks Ameri*n Expr*ss)bringing home two at a time will double what we spent last time, 2 more weeks away from our 7 other children..are you sure this is what you want us to do?"
I listened....
The only thing I heard was Adam's monitors beeping and a few other children crying in Post-op.

We move to a room and Adam comes around, has no problems, we are discharged ,and we are on our way home.

We stop at a drive-thru for a bite and as we are pulling out of BackY*ard Burg*ers, I look at Stacy and say"What a day, huh?"
Stacy laughs and says, "WooHoo!", smiles and kisses my hand. Totally un-phased.

On the drive back I think about our next adoption: the pros, the cons, the ins, the outs, the highs , and the lows.
I decide that I really need a sign...
It doesn't have to be a BILLBOARD..a small one will do...just something so that I will know that this is still what God has planned for our family and that we aren't screwing up BIG TIME.

A few hours later, we are pulling in the drive and Stacy stops to check the mail.
There is a bright mint green letter from Immigration.

"This is to inform you that you have been received , processed, and forwarded to......"

It was our I800 confirmation receipt letter.
It was in our mailbox 9 days after they received our application...2 of those days was a weekend

Anyone who knows the inner workings of our Immigration System will tell you that THIS IS A SIGN.............

Now instead of feeling anxious, I feel relieved.....and still a little old.

CHANGE............

Not something that I am fond of.
Odd.
People think that I am as flexible as a noodle and I admit that
I can be if I HAVE to..I just don't like it.

Today, I mailed our I800A to the U.S. Department of Homeland Security.
I do not know why I held on to it for as long as I did.
Maybe I thought INS was going to call me and say, "Hey, You can just send that I600..you know, since you've done it so many times and you are so good at filling it out that we are going to let you just slide on through "

As bad as I hate to say it, I almost feel entitled to THAT kind of treatment.

Four I600A approvals and STILL we have to fill out this NEW ONE...
Honestly- I feel that way.

Every single question I had to answer just hacked me off.

I just wanted to scream " HAVEN"T I ALREADY ANSWERED THIS 4 TIMES?!?!"-
But I didn't...I just filled the thing out, wrote the check ,and took it to the Fed-Ex store.

I got home and started to think about all of the reasons I have balked at this whole HAGUE thing and I have come to the conclusion that it is not BAD....just DIFFERENT.

I have grown accustomed to our " New Baby" routine- which is only slightly different from our Biological " New Baby " routine.. I might add. :)

Fill out the INS paperwork, complete the Dossier, fall in love with a precious little face, get on the plane, meet the precious little face, Mama & Daddy Forever, THE END.

It's just the way it was done.

Now there are all of these new steps and I have NO idea what is coming our way.

I will admit that in the beginning, we took a leap of faith and asked God to guide us through our first adoption...but over the years, I have pridefully developed an " I GOT THIS" attitude.
I liked my attitude ...It makes me feel EMPOWERED ( I get that from my daddy's people...just in case you wonder)..and now I feel like we are starting all over again and I do not like the way it feels.
Whew..that felt good to say... I do not like the way it feels! Even Better.

I can see the change ahead.

I am not happy about it, but I am praying about it and I have not been given the " Go Ahead" to give up and move on ...so , we will move forward.

Forward to a new little one. Forward to TWO new little ones.
Whatever, WHOMEVER God has in store for our crazy rowdy HOUSE FULL OF LOVE.

(as I am typing this , My black haired brown eyed little 3 year old walked up to me and said, " I love you , Mama!" totally out of the blue. )

I Got Ya, GOD!

Point Made!

Change.

O.K.

WHAT?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!

Filling out the I800.

I am sure you have all heard this, thought this, or said this.....

But Geessshhh...REALLY? SERIOUSLY?

They have asked everything but my Bra Size...........Wait.....Nope...There it is..
Thiiiirrrrtttyyy Foooour ....O.K.! FINE! 36 C.....

and My PRECIOUS 17 year old son has to have a background check because he "MIGHT" turn 18 before we travel to China.

OK ? His birthday is in November...that's comforting...

Freakin' Immigration.

Next time they revise this, we'll all be giving blood and urine samples at the door.....
I'm just sayin'.
:)