So can anyone tell me how an attachment parent is supposed to make the trip with two...
and by two- i mean if we are matched with 2 little monkeys.
I am having a hard time getting Stacy to consider adopting out of birth order( he is TOTALLY against) so that means that there is a good chance that the newest little trouble-makers....er...sweethearts will be under the age of 2 1/2.
If you look at any of our adoption journals you'll see that most of the pictures
are of me walking around with a little one hanging on like a monkey in a banana tree.
Don't get me wrong,-I think strollers rock...we just use them as little as possible during our first weeks with our new child.
Our parenting style is not for everyone, mind you, but it works for us.
I try to spend those first precious weeks trying to figure out how my new baby ticks.
I watch. I listen. I smile. I let the baby nap on my chest so that he/she can hear my heart beat. I try to establish a rythm. I take mental notes.
'Doesn't like dairy. Mad cry. Hungry cry. Scared cry. Sleepy cry. Likes Daddy if Daddy has chocolate. "
We sleep together, we bathe together, we eat together, and I HOLD, HOLD, HOLD.
Which leads me back to my original question-
How is 1 Mama going to do this with 2 SN infant/toddlers?
What about carriers for 2 children ( One in front- One in back)?
Ive seen this done, but I have to tell ya...I'm not an Amazon warrior.
I have years of wear and tear on my back and hips from sports, horseback riding, and chasing kids... I honestly do not think I could physically carry 2 kids around at the same time.
Not more than ONCE , anyway.
Oh! and do they even SELL double strollers in China??
Do ya just get two?
That just seems like a bad idea... I mean how is Dad going to take pictures,
carry the diaper bags, and the shopping bags if he is pushing a stroller, too? :)
What if the kids "will not let Daddy hold" or worse "will not let Mama hold"?
What if one "likes" Mom and one doesn't??
What if (ala Rebekah) they will not sit in a high chair and they won't let Daddy hold??
How do you feed two kids sitting in your lap ?
Seriously...can you tell I am freaking out a little here?
I wake up in the middle of the night thinking about these things.
The "one at a time" deal has always worked out pretty well for us, so I really have no idea why this is stressing me so.
Maybe it is because Adam is 3 1/2 and Rebekah just turned 2 and I know how hard they can be, at times.
Does anyone have any ideas....or know where I can find a double stroller in China?
You know..just in case I need one. ;)
Baby carrier for one and a stroller for the other and switch?
ReplyDeleteIs it mean to say I like seeing you freak out!??!?!? :) You're always so NOT freakin' out when it comes to adoption- I like to see this side of you! :)
LOL! gee, thanks ,Jenna. ;)
ReplyDeletei thought about that but i figure what will happen is that the "easy" one(if there is one) would wind up in the stroller all the time. ;)
I am probably just being goofy...but stuff like this worries, me..ya know.
andrea, this is exactly why we chose not to adopt two little ones at once. seeing the type of child that E is, it would NOT have worked. i also have some back issues from doing so much carrying... and multi-tasking with baby on the hip.
ReplyDeleteI say you talk Stacy into adopting one who is slightly older + one baby. For one, you are *always* thwarting birth order because the baby of the fam is no longer the baby and that transition can be *tough*. it was for us - both times. I recently emailed several families who adopted 2-5 year olds and they all had great transitions home - much easier than ours in fact. They used words like "perfect" to describe it. I was talking with a adoption therapist that we have to see because E is still having some feeding issues, so they want us to get a consult. Anyway, she was saying it is ideal to adopt a child who spent the first year (or so) with their first mom.
i imagine that would be ideal ..but in China, that ain't gonna happen. :)
ReplyDeleteStacy would only let me put 0-48 moths because a girl could go in infront of Adam because he would still be the baby boy and a girl could go in under Rebekah or they both had to be under rebekah..that was it.
He's a hard- headed thing. ;)
But the birth order thing is his the only thing he won't bend on...so i guess i'm pretty lucky. ;)
the more we talk about it the closer we are to talking ourselves OUT of it.
As I type this Rebekah is screaming at me because I refuse to let her color on the walls.
The thought of TWO of bambinos doing this at the same time....I don't know....:)
ok 48 months..not moths
ReplyDeletei really need to use my spellcheck. ;)
andrea, i think you guys are on to something. i like the idea of adopting a girl older than adam and an infant. that way you could bond with the baby with lots of holding and bond with the older toddler with lots of snuggle time/playing together. to me, that would feel much more manageable.
ReplyDeletethis all said, i do get what you mean about adopting out of birth order. we would like to adopt again someday and are leaning toward an older child, so we want to wait until our kids are all older - maybe in five years or so.
im thinking this might work. he's still balking, though.
ReplyDeleteHis is not so much the age thing as the NUMBER thing.
Like" you were number 6 and now you are number 7'.
He feels like that is part of who they are when they enter our family and even though it seems like a small thing...it would just be another thing that would be taken away from them.
I love that he is so sensitive to things like that. I think it is one of the things that makes him such a great father.
I'm still working on him..but it ain't lookin good. :)
hey girl! it's been forever since we've hung out! lol wow wow wow! you are adopting again? woo hoo!
ReplyDeletewe sorta kinda adopted out of birth order, but not really. since sparkles was a few weeks older than lil' rocker it was out of "order" yet nothing changed....the oldest was still the oldest, #2 was still #2 and the baby was still the baby. so throw one in just slightly older than your baby and then younger than your baby and nothing is really out of birth order:)
Yikes-China is not a stroller friendly country. Maybe you can make your own carrier of some kind; I'll bet native Americans had a double cradle once upon a time.
ReplyDeleteRuby