CHANGE............

Not something that I am fond of.
Odd.
People think that I am as flexible as a noodle and I admit that
I can be if I HAVE to..I just don't like it.

Today, I mailed our I800A to the U.S. Department of Homeland Security.
I do not know why I held on to it for as long as I did.
Maybe I thought INS was going to call me and say, "Hey, You can just send that I600..you know, since you've done it so many times and you are so good at filling it out that we are going to let you just slide on through "

As bad as I hate to say it, I almost feel entitled to THAT kind of treatment.

Four I600A approvals and STILL we have to fill out this NEW ONE...
Honestly- I feel that way.

Every single question I had to answer just hacked me off.

I just wanted to scream " HAVEN"T I ALREADY ANSWERED THIS 4 TIMES?!?!"-
But I didn't...I just filled the thing out, wrote the check ,and took it to the Fed-Ex store.

I got home and started to think about all of the reasons I have balked at this whole HAGUE thing and I have come to the conclusion that it is not BAD....just DIFFERENT.

I have grown accustomed to our " New Baby" routine- which is only slightly different from our Biological " New Baby " routine.. I might add. :)

Fill out the INS paperwork, complete the Dossier, fall in love with a precious little face, get on the plane, meet the precious little face, Mama & Daddy Forever, THE END.

It's just the way it was done.

Now there are all of these new steps and I have NO idea what is coming our way.

I will admit that in the beginning, we took a leap of faith and asked God to guide us through our first adoption...but over the years, I have pridefully developed an " I GOT THIS" attitude.
I liked my attitude ...It makes me feel EMPOWERED ( I get that from my daddy's people...just in case you wonder)..and now I feel like we are starting all over again and I do not like the way it feels.
Whew..that felt good to say... I do not like the way it feels! Even Better.

I can see the change ahead.

I am not happy about it, but I am praying about it and I have not been given the " Go Ahead" to give up and move on ...so , we will move forward.

Forward to a new little one. Forward to TWO new little ones.
Whatever, WHOMEVER God has in store for our crazy rowdy HOUSE FULL OF LOVE.

(as I am typing this , My black haired brown eyed little 3 year old walked up to me and said, " I love you , Mama!" totally out of the blue. )

I Got Ya, GOD!

Point Made!

Change.

O.K.