LWB Child in need of Heart Surgery!!

*** URGENT ***

Yu - Anhui

Gender: F

Need: Heart defect

Total Amount needed: $8,500.00

Remaining Amount Still Needed: $2,600.00

Donate to this child


This Baby, along with several others on the LWB site, are in need of Heart Surgery.


Please make a donation to her OR one of the other children listed on the Love Without Boundaries site.

This little girl has the same CH defect(ToF) as JiXiang.

You can look at his picture on the sidebar and see the difference that this surgery can make in the life of a child.

Wouldn't you just love to see her little blue lips turn to a lovely shade of pink?

Anything you can spare will be appreciated.

Every little bit helps.




PEACE.

Dear Tami(& All)- My Top 10 (while preparing to adopt internationally)

Nurturing Your Child's Spirit-
Most Christians believe that the Montessori Approach to anything is a little too
"New Age-y" for them.
I used to think the same thing. This book is old, but Amazon carries it used for about $3.
This is my favorite .



The Primal Wound-
This is the book that they Angry Adoptees use to "further the cause".
I read it to see what all the Hub-Bub was about.
It is interesting and to be honest..some of the info does
make sense- if you think about it.
I personally think every adoptive parent should be required to read it.
When people say that "Adoption should be outlawed" and start spewing
quotes from this book...I like that I am prepared.



Parenting For A Healthy Future-
For me it is a reminder of the things that you take for granted
after you have parented for a while.





EVERY DAY BLESSINGS The Inner Work of a Mindful Parent-
Written by 2 Peace Loving , Yoga Practicing, Hippies.
This book is full of essays written by the husband and wife team
while raising their young children.
I just love the calmness of it all and the way that they take time to notice and
enjoy the tiniest parts of raising children.
That is something I often forget to do.





The Natural Child Parenting From the Heart-
LOVE IT!
This is a wonderful book on attachment parenting.
Short and to the point.



Nurturing Adoptions Creating ~Resilience after Neglect and Trauma-
Need I say more?



Children Learn What They Live Parenting to Inspire Values-
Again -I consider it a "refresher course".



Adoption Nation-
The Whole Adoption World was talking about it- so I got it.
Very interesting read.




Becoming a Family Promoting Healthy Attachments With Your Adopted Child-
Would have LOVED to have had this book before adopting Mary Elizabeth.
I think it would have eased some of the "bonding" anxiety I was feeling.




The Whole Life Adoption Book Realistic Advice For Building a Healthy
Adoptive Family-
So far - this is my favorite Adoption"how-to" book.

Just a few things.

I am a Christian . Having said that-I think the most important Book anyone can read on parenting -Adoptive or Biological -is the Bible.

I believe that God is SERIOUS about the way we raise our children & that God is for Adoption- just ask Mary & Joseph.

Knowing that makes it all a little easier.

Read as much as you can about the Chinese culture & learn a little Mandarin.

Stacy and I studied the culture, asked friends about customs and things that were important

like social graces and things to buy for gifts.

It is not hard to learn to say"Hello", "Good bye","See you tomorrow", and "Thank You" in Chinese.

I even learned to say "Thank you for Caring for our Baby Girl" so that I could thank her Ayi.

She smiled from ear to ear and hugged my neck.

That was just really cool.

All of the reading and practicing was time well spent.

You will be amazed at what you will gain by showing grace and respect for their culture.

The Chinese know when you are sincere and I promise you it will make a world of difference.

I hope this helped.

I probably have about 100 books on international adoption and/or parenting in this house.....

Maybe more..who knows...but these are the ones that have the most wear and tear.

I hope you find something you like.

We are excited for you and your family.

Can't wait to see your little girl.

PEACE.

Sometimes..................

IT'S LIKE


LOOKIN' IN



THE MIRROR.


PEACE.

Letter posted by Amy E. of LWB

I most definitely wish there was a way to educate ALL adoptive parents about the truths of institutional care, however I have come to realize in my daily work that just as many parents are not online reading everything they can find on adoption as are reading.

There are hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of parents out there who have no idea what life is like for a child in an orphanage, and who head overseas to pick up their "China doll" only to be handed a baby who is unresponsive, thin, unable to eat...and on and on and on.

While adopting my son last month, I walked several times over to the White Swan (Hotel where parents stay in China) to talk to parents, and over and over I spoke with moms and dads who had no clue whatsoever about the issues their kids were having.

I heard so many times things like, "she won't eat solid foods" (oral aversion), "she has no muscle tone" (muscle atrophy from lying in a crib all day), "she won't smile" (pure grieving from being taken from her foster mom).

I guess since I live China 24/7, I assume everyone adopting does, too, which is not the case.

I was trying to process how many parents get all the way to China without ever reading about post-institutional issues.

It was sobering to me.

Babies in the NSN (non-special needs) as well as the SN (special needs) path can have issues with attachment, motor skills, emotional issues and more.

Again, I am often surprised to talk to parents leaving soon and to realize they are not prepared. One family was adopting from our foster care program, and when I told them that the child was DEEPLY attached to the mom,the father said, "guess she might cry for an hour or so then?"

An hour or so? She had been in foster care for over a year!

I tried to explain that this little girl was about ready to lose everything she had ever known, and that they should not expect her to be sunny, happy, and full of personality after an hour.

I told them to please remember the 72 hour rule.......that after 72 hours they would probably see her spark, but that she would probably grieve for a long time after that as well.

I think for many adoptive parents, they just don't want to read the "bad stuff", and so I do think that ultimately it is the parents who are at fault for not doing more to educate themselves.

There certainly are books galore out there about post-institutional issues.

I think adoption from China is very similar to giving birth.. it is much more rosy to only read the happy stories on APC (another website for adoptive parents), but I now encourage every family I meet to read the harder ones as well.

It is always a very sad day for the orphanage and everyone involved when a child that they know is absolutely fine, but perhaps thin and grieving, is returned by their new parents for being "delayed".

I think far too many people believe their child's life is going to begin the moment they meet them.

The truth is, and everyone must realize it...a child's life is going on RIGHT NOW in China, and all of their experiences are shaping who they are.

The one thing I have learned over and over again about the kids in China is that they are fighters and survivors.

But for some reason, people seem to want to ignore these issues in public forums.Recently, one of our medical babies that we had met several times in person was adopted, and we all knew that this child was a "spitfire".

When the family arrived and spent a few days with her, they decided she was too much of a handful for them and they wanted to disrupt.

She absolutely was not what they expected.

I think all of us, who do realize that delays occur and that babies can usually overcome them, should be these children's advocates by continually trying to educate new parents on what to expect in China.

By helping them be better prepared, we just might help stop a disruption in the future.

I love Chinese adoption with my whole heart, and it is my life's work…but I also want every family who goes to get their baby to go with their eyes open and to be as emotionally prepared as possible, for the child's sake.




Amy E-Love Without Boundaries"

HURRY! Voting Ends Feb.10th!!!!!

PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE! GO AND VOTE!

Cookie Magazine(Conde' Nast) is having its 3rd Annual Smart Cookie Contest. (Click)

The Winner gets..... ready..... $35,000.00 for their foundation.

The young lady holding the beautiful little Asian baby is AMY ELDRIDGE, founder
of LOVE WITHOUT BOUNDARIES.

Click on the circle beside her photo then scroll to the bottom to VOTE.

$35,000.00 will cover ALOT of surgeries , people.

SO PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

VOTE (Click here to vote)

LINK IT

ASK YOUR FRIENDS TO VOTE

ASK YOUR FRIENDS TO LINK IT.

LWB funded my new son's heart surgery in AUGUST of last year.
We literally owe them his life.

Thanks.

Peace.

NEW ZEALAND NEWS PAPER ARTICLE- Interesting!

Costs rise on Chinese adoption By KIM THOMAS - The Press Tuesday, 27 January 2009

Infertile couples desperate to adopt a Chinese baby face three-year waits and almost double the administration fee, pushing total costs up to about $30,000 a child.
Child, Youth and Family (CYF) director of adoption and international services Paula Attrill said that from this month the fee charged by the Chinese government adoption agency rose from $5000 to $9000.
The agency cited rising costs in caring for the children before their adoption, she said.
CYF manages formal adoption programmes with seven countries, including China, Chile, Lithuania and Thailand. Each country set its own administration fee.
The largest number of CYF-arranged adoptions are from China. More than 350 foreign children are adopted every year by New Zealanders.
Attrill said the increased cost of adopting from China could make it unaffordable for some parents.
Applications to adopt internationally had dropped slightly over the past year, possibly as the credit crunch made it more difficult for couples to raise the tens of thousands of dollars required, she said.
Couples interviewed by The Press said it cost between $25,000 and $35,000 to adopt a child from China. This included the $9000 fee, a processing fee of $2700 and return flights and accommodation for about a fortnight in China.
The wait for a child, from registering with Chinese authorities to travelling to pick up the child, was between 2 1/2 years and three years, Attrill said.
It had been 1 1/2 years to two years previously, but the Chinese Government tightened requirements to cut through a backlog of more than 30,000 applications from people who felt China was an easy place to adopt, she said.
Before registering with the Chinese central adoption agency, couples had to go through three education classes and be assessed for their suitability, which took about six months.
Attrill said countries were improving foster services and focusing on adopting babies to their own citizens.
This meant children adopted internationally now tended to be older, with medical conditions or behavioural problems that made them less appealing, she said.
A Christchurch woman, Lisa (not her real name), 38, and her 45-year-old husband have been trying to adopt a child from China for the past three years.
She did not want to be identified in case Chinese adoption authorities saw her comments on the internet and took exception.
"It's [adopting internationally] now quite expensive and quite delayed," she said.
She and her husband decided to adopt after finding it difficult to have children.
Lisa said she and her husband would be able to pay the recently increased adoption fee, but for some people it could create financial stress.
"People push themselves to the limit to adopt. A lot of them have already paid thousands for IVF treatments," she said.
"Some people take out second mortgages, but in the current economic climate this might not be possible."
Lisa said the appeal of adopting a child through official Chinese channels was that couples were assigned children in the order they lodged their application with authorities, and it was overseen by the New Zealand Government.
"You are a number. No-one is favoured above anyone. You have to wait and it can take a very long time, but it's certain," she said.
The Chinese one-child policy meant that there were many healthy female children available for adoption.
Lisa said she expected to wait about another two years before she got her Chinese daughter.
New Zealand Chinese Association immediate past-president Kai Luey said babies were precious in China because of the one-child policy. However, there was an emphasis on having boys, so some girls were given up for adoption.
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Please see the link >

How Much Time???????????

Not really sure how long we will wait for our LOA.

This vexes me for a few reasons.

1. I do not like to wait.
2. I am a planner and I like for things to be taken care of
WAAAAYYYYY ahead of time.
3. I do not like to wait.



Asking the agency for any kind of time -line is like shaking one
of those "8 Balls" from the 80's.
" ALL SIGNS POINT TO YES" or " ASK AGAIN LATER".

The CCAA is so unpredictable(as of late) that no-one and I mean NO-ONE
wants to go out on a limb and even give a GUESS-TIMATE.

What I did get was "people who weren't LID are looking at about 3 31/2 months".

But we ARE LID....so what does that make US?!?!?!?!?

Who Knows?


So I have decided to be PRO-Active and start making my
Checklists.




I have 5 children that I will be leaving at home and I would
really LOVE for them to be able to get into college (at some point)
so there is my 1st List - SCHOOL

Who does what, Who knows what, Who will try to bam-boozle you
into believing that they DO NOT know what, and what I expect
them to have done when I get back.

I also leave a notebook filled with lots of in depth info on each of the children.

Which ones will try to make you believe that you "really CAN have
apple juice in the bed-time juice cups" OR "Mama lets us watch
ALL the DISNEY CHANNEL we want"OR "Sometimes Mama lets me
SKIP Math"( Just to be fair...You do get to skip Math IF you are
vomiting OR have a fever over 102.5) OR " Mama let's us play the
Wii whenever we want to" OR my favorite"eating Ice Cream is the
SAME thing as drinking milk".



AHHH Milk....
That leads me to the 2nd List- MENU.

When we left for China to adopt our 5th child, we left a freezer full
of frozen meals.
It was great for the kids, because they had a ready supply of
"Mama's cookin" and our "Stand In's & Other Mothers" did not have to worry
about what to cook for a house full of kids.

It made everything easier for them and less stressful for me.
I knew that Ben had Mac & Cheese and would eat that when he
wouldn't eat anything else.

So if we are gone for 14 days and I freeze enough for 2 meals a day
(breakfast doesn't need to be frozen) that is 28 meals that I need
to have prepared, labeled,frozen,and inventoried(so that they can check
off what they use and know what is left in the freezer) BEFORE the LOA.





LOA ......
That brings me to the 3rd List-PACKING

Stacy and I made the last trip with one HUGE checked bag, 2 pull-ons
& 2 carry-ons.

WAAAAAYYYYY too much stuff.
Most of the stuff we left in Guangzhou with a note to the hotel staff.
Stuff that was NEVER opened...most of it was never even TOUCHED.

We have decided that we will make this trip as part of the
"Carry-On Only" Club.

We are going to leave Guangzhou , go and spend a few days in Shantou,
then come BACK to Guangzhou and and REALLY do not want to have
take all of that luggage with us.

We'll see how it works out.

We do plan to purchase a few of biggest suitcases"Sherry's" has to check
on the flight back.
The plan is to pack our souvenirs in the carry-ons,
pack the carry-on's in the checked bags, and use our clothing for padding.

We made the mistake of checking our carry-ons on the trip back(last time)
...they were trashed and missing wheels by the time we were back in the U.S.

I have had to REALLY stop myself from buying clothes for our son.
I know if I buy it ..I will want to pack it..Good thing,too.
Today we got an update....He is 18 months old and weighs 17 pounds.
Tiny Little Monkey.





Next List

TRAVEL-

My husband tells me that we have an INTERNATIONAL COMPANION
TRAVEL PLAN with one of our cards.
This is a buy (1)- get (1) AND you get a free upgrade in the hotel
when you use the plan.

Basically what this means for us is that we will both fly 1st class-Round Trip-
for what (1) Round Trip 1st Class ticket will cost.

Wonderful...except for one thing..... In order to cash in on this little deal...
American Express has to make ALL of your travel arrangements.

So instead of using our travel agent(an adoptive father whom we LOVED)
we have to depend AM EX to take care of our flights IN and take
care of our flights OUT AND take care of our transportation from
Hong Kong to Guangzhou.........

This has disaster written ALL over it.....but I have still have to send them a list.
Airlines, Airports, Number of Passegers, Names of Passengers, Dates IN,
& Dates OUT.






Our agency is taking care of our in-country stuff..which is cool.

They take care of the hotel in Guangzhou and the train to Shantou.






They are even going to help us with our hotel in Shantou and
help us find someone to help us do a little shopping for the kiddos
at the SWI......which reminds me...I need to make a list for that,too.

So that is what I will be doing for the next 8-10 weeks.

De-Cluttering my house so that the "Other Mothers" can find stuff,
making out lists, schedules, menus, cooking, freezing, reading about post-op
TOF, getting riding lessons lined out, making arrangements for the horses
in the event of an emergency, finding someone to take over my Sunday
School Class, educate my children, stock pantry & re-fill First-aid kits ,
replenish meds & Vitamens, have a family portrait made SANS new baby,
paint my bathroom, set up a mini-nursery in our bedroom AND brush
up on my Mandarin.................

Although, Xiang Xiang probably only understands Cantonese...so alot of good that will do.
Maybe I should be brushing up on my American Sign Language.........Hmmm..........

Never a Dull Moment.


PEACE.