DONE

My Social worker should be done with our home study this week.

I should be excited....but I am not.

I know in my heart that this is the last Adoption Trip that we will make to China.

I have been in denial, but the closer we get to reviewing files...the more I have had to come to terms with it.

I am tearing up, alot.

Very out of character for me..It take a lot to make me cry.

No more dossiers.

No more referrals.

No more packing lists.

No more embassy trips.

No more babies.

Done.

Stacy and I have discussed it and like everyone else who "calls it quits" , we have many reasons- good reasons- sane reasons....but it still doesn't feel good.

It is a strange place to be.

I go from feeling guilty to sad to mad to blessed to humbled to determined to guilty.

I imagine that I will feel differently when I have a 4 year old and a 2 year old and a ?? year old screaming for a cookie at the same time- but right now it just sucks...plain and simple.

Just one more of those "parenting" things that sneaks up on you.

I knew we'd stop having children "one day"-

I just didn't think "one day" would be here so soon.

On a more Perky note- I am off to YOU BELONG to start a new journal for the Caboose/s.

If you are new around here and you haven't had a chance to read my husband's take on our adoption trips- Feel free to hop over to my sidebar and check out the journals from our last two trips.

He really needs a blog of his own....seriously...just a fun guy.

One Tough MOTHER!

O.K...probably NOT the classiest title in the world
but I have a really warped sense of humor and it made me giggle.

Spring is pretty much here , which means we have only a few months to finish
SCHOOL YEAR 2010-2011.

We are not a "by the book" family , when it comes to home education (O.K...when it comes to anything) but I really try to make sure we stay on some sort of path .

We have had a busy year, fun...but busy...so we have found ourselves running behind in our studies.

Not such a big deal if everyone will agree to put forth the effort required for the task at hand.

A week ago, after breakfast, I called the troops to formation (time for school) and I was met with whining, rolling eyes, toddlers hiding the T.V. remote, and a very loud " but I was playing my D.S.". and "I have to get ready for my tennis lesson"

I smiled, nodded my head in approval and told the little monsters..er..darlings to carry on.
They could do what THEY wanted to do and I would spend the day doing what I wanted to do.
A Win /Win scenario.

Of course, that was met with several "woohooo' s & high 5's" and off they went....Skipping Merrily into the Land of Sloth & Artificial Stimulation.

I made myself a cup of tea, grabbed my day planner, a pen, a notebook, & my Lesson planner and I sat down in the library.

Every now and then one of the kids would walk by and say, "Whatcha doing?".

"Oh making plans", I'd say.
They'd smile..I'd smile...Happy Happy Day....so they thought.


During my time with my planner- I scratched out any and every activity that the children had( during week days) for 90 days...weekends not included.
I decided that maybe the problem was not the kids attitude toward education...maybe it was my attitude.
Maybe they didn't believe that I thought it was more important than the DS or the TV or a MOVIE.

So I was willing to take the blame and work diligently to prove to my precious children how important it is to spend your time wisely AND what can be accomplished when you do.


I call this THE 90 DAYS OF MOM!

"For 90 days we will FULLY devote ourselves to our education and wrapping up the 2010-2011 school year. No TV, No Computers, No outside commitments- NOTHING but finishing up our lessons."

"90 days? in a row?!", My 9 year old asked in disbelief. "But the DIARY OF A WIMPY KID sequel is coming out on Friday!"

"Yeah, and You can go and see it on Saturday." " You WILL NOT die if you do not see a movie on the opening night... I promise"

I also gave the kids a new set of ground rules:
*All school work must be started by 9 am and finished by 3p (without exception)Monday - Friday.
*There will be NO OUTSIDE ACTIVITIES (theatre commitments, tennis lessons, play groups, martial arts,outings with friends, dance classes,volunteer work, etc.) during THE 90 DAYS OF MOM.
*Students receive 45 minutes for lunch and relaxation.
* Students are responsible for preparing their own lunches and must use food pyramid on fridge as guide. NO SUGAR NO COLA NO EXCEPTIONS
*Students must clear and clean lunch area before resuming studies.
*Students must complete Fall reading list. Any unauthorized reading material will be confiscated and trashed.
*No artificial stimulation Monday-Friday. This includes(but not limited to): All hand held gaming devices, T.V.'s, portable DVD players, Leapsters, Wii, PS3,DVR,BluRay,surfing web on computer or cellphone.
*Cell phones will be turned in ( to Mom) at 9am (daily) and will be returned upon completion of school work. Texting will cease at 9pm Monday- Friday No EXCEPTIONS.
*Students will not Whine, Cry, Groan, Sigh, Roll Eyes,Pout,Sharpen pencil 1,000 times,work on their "comic drawing skills", make YOUTUBE videos with Legos, go to the bathroom 20 times, or give themselves/ kittens/dogs/Barbies/baby dolls/younger siblings manicures during a school day.
* Students may use computers and Main T.V. for approved educational purposes.
All educational DVD'S must be applicable & approved before viewing.
* All students must comply for 90 days.
Failure to do so will result in loss of Weekend Privileges(including vehicles and cellphones) and a possible stint in a European Boarding School.

****If , by some chance, a student finishes his/her work before THE 90 DAYS OF MOM is over-That student will receive a gift card and the right to gloat and use the "Loser" sign, at will. ****

THESE RULES WILL BE PLASTERED HIGH ON THE FRIDGE FOR ALL TO SEE.

The kids are counting down the days like they were on their way to ALCATRAZ....which is always a good sign.

THE 90 DAYS OF MOM starts April 6.

I'll let ya know how things turn out.

How?

So can anyone tell me how an attachment parent is supposed to make the trip with two...

and by two- i mean if we are matched with 2 little monkeys.

I am having a hard time getting Stacy to consider adopting out of birth order( he is TOTALLY against) so that means that there is a good chance that the newest little trouble-makers....er...sweethearts will be under the age of 2 1/2.

If you look at any of our adoption journals you'll see that most of the pictures

are of me walking around with a little one hanging on like a monkey in a banana tree.

Don't get me wrong,-I think strollers rock...we just use them as little as possible during our first weeks with our new child.

Our parenting style is not for everyone, mind you, but it works for us.

I try to spend those first precious weeks trying to figure out how my new baby ticks.

I watch. I listen. I smile. I let the baby nap on my chest so that he/she can hear my heart beat. I try to establish a rythm. I take mental notes.

'Doesn't like dairy. Mad cry. Hungry cry. Scared cry. Sleepy cry. Likes Daddy if Daddy has chocolate. "

We sleep together, we bathe together, we eat together, and I HOLD, HOLD, HOLD.

Which leads me back to my original question-

How is 1 Mama going to do this with 2 SN infant/toddlers?

What about carriers for 2 children ( One in front- One in back)?

Ive seen this done, but I have to tell ya...I'm not an Amazon warrior.

I have years of wear and tear on my back and hips from sports, horseback riding, and chasing kids... I honestly do not think I could physically carry 2 kids around at the same time.

Not more than ONCE , anyway.

Oh! and do they even SELL double strollers in China??

Do ya just get two?

That just seems like a bad idea... I mean how is Dad going to take pictures,

carry the diaper bags, and the shopping bags if he is pushing a stroller, too? :)

What if the kids "will not let Daddy hold" or worse "will not let Mama hold"?

What if one "likes" Mom and one doesn't??

What if (ala Rebekah) they will not sit in a high chair and they won't let Daddy hold??

How do you feed two kids sitting in your lap ?

Seriously...can you tell I am freaking out a little here?

I wake up in the middle of the night thinking about these things.

The "one at a time" deal has always worked out pretty well for us, so I really have no idea why this is stressing me so.

Maybe it is because Adam is 3 1/2 and Rebekah just turned 2 and I know how hard they can be, at times.

Does anyone have any ideas....or know where I can find a double stroller in China?

You know..just in case I need one. ;)

Back on Track

Today I mailed a load of HAGUE savvy info to my Social Worker-

This means that we are officially "back on track".


I must admit that I am a tad disappointed that we will not be traveling over summer vacation, as I had planned.

"Getting past myself" and accepting the fact that God's travel plans aren't always the same as My travel plans has been difficult.

My first reaction is to be ANGRY that I haven't gotten my way.


Spoiled? Yes! Shocker...to anyone who knows me.


I like to PLAN, PLAN, PLAN...and when those plans are changed for me...well you can imagine.

I keep telling myself that God is dealing with my "instant gratification issues". For some reason, that makes it easier to swallow.


I am happy that we are moving forward. Can't wait to see what is coming our way.

What do you do when your 3 year old wants a Mohawk?

Ya get him one.

Cute little Gomer!

BIOMETRICS done.

I do not know if I have EVER said this- but our MS office ROCKS!

Seriously.

We had appointments for 9 am, 10am, & 11 am.
We got there at 9am and we were outa there before 10am.

The officer in charge of the printing has printed us for every adoption we have done. We first say her in 2004.

Every time , she makes the comment that she "never gets to see the kids that she prints for".
Today, she did.

We took the kids and she was able to see Mary, Adam , and Rebekah, and she was thrilled.

She had tears in her eyes while she was talking to the kids.

It was a sweet thing to see.

So we have prints and still no Home-study.

Word from my agency is that my Social Worker agreed to "work on it on Friday".

Hmmm....we'll see.

CAUTION: NOT A PERKY POST!

Sometime last week, Our social decided that she "did not feel up to completing /revising a Hague home study".

Yep- you read that correctly.

Can a person do that??

Well yes, apparently they can.

Not sure where we stand now.

We have an agency trying to fix things, a Un-revised HS sitting at the state level, and a file on some desk with our government holding almost a thousand dollars of our money that I am SURE they aren't interested in refunding.

I am trying to be patient and understanding and considerate and.....blah , blah, blah...When what I really am is ANGRY.

So angry that I am ready to call my agency( who is trying their best to FIX this mess)and BAG the whole thing....which will leave my family heartbroken, because we have already prepared our hearts for a new arrival AND two more children STILL waiting for a home to call their own.

Cannot make sense of it all...no matter how hard I try.

Not HAPPY today.

A Wonderful Project from My Friends at Living Tree Books!

Happy Monday everyone!

I will be starting a couple of new publishing projects that you have the opportunity to be part of. Participation is on a voluntary basis, but space is limited so you will want to sign up asap. Once completed, the books will be available for purchase online. This is your chance to share your child's story with the world!
The first project is a book that will be called "Wo Jiao Mikey!". The title's namesake is our son Mikey and simply means "My name is Mikey". The book will also include entries from 30 - 40 more children and will encapsulate the title theme into their stories as well. The inspiration for the book comes from our 7 year old son, Mikey, whom we adopted last year. As an orphan growing up in China his physical disabilities were considered "unlucky". If he remained in China, his future would have been very bleak with little hope of having a productive future. Mikey's story is not unique. There are thousands of children who have had their lives and futures radically changed through the blessing of adoption. My vision is to tell their story through the child's eyes and capture through family photos the miraculous transformation of the soul that takes place within a child when they are welcomed into a forever home and given an identity and unconditional love. There is limited space so please contact me asap if you are interested in sharing your child's story.

JANELL

**if you are interested in learning more- The Living Tree Badge is to the right.

For My Records...YAY!

Notice

March 11, 2011

Government departments and adoption agencies in receiving countries, In order to promote special needs child adoption and guarantee the basic interests of the orphaned and disabled children, CCAA decides to accept the adoption applications from female single applicants to adopt according to the requirements listed in this notice, starting from March 15, 2011
I. Female single applicants are allowed to adopt special focus children listed on the special Needs System of ccAA. One applicant can only adopt one special focus child at a time, with an interval of at least one year between two adoptions. n. The applicant shall have reached the age of 30 years and are under 50. For applicants over 50, the age difference between the child to be adopted and the applicant shall be no more than 45 years. III. The applicant shall provide her civil status certificate. Unmarried applicants shall provide certification for being single and non-homosexual; divorced applicants shall provide the divorce certificate of the last marriage; and widowed applicants shall provide the death certificate of their ex-spouse.
IV. Applicants shall be healthy both physically and mentally according to the requirements by CCAA for prospective adoptive couples. Applicants shall be law abiding with no criminal records, and have good moral quality and conduct.
V. The family annual income shall reach $10,000 per family member, including the prospective adoptee and the family net assets value should reach $100,000. The applicant shall have good medical insurance which can cover the medical expense of the adopted child.
VI. Applicants shall be experienced in child caring or be occupied in child-related fields, such as doctor, nurse, teacher, child psychological counselor, etc. It's best that the applicants have already had successful experience in caring for special needs children.
VII. The number of children in the applicant's family under the age of
18 years shall be no more than two, and the youngest one should have reached the age of 6 years old.
Vru. Applicants shall be fully prepared for adopting a special focus child. Social workers shall provide the following information fully and timely in the home study reports besides family visit interviews: 1. Adoption motive. The decision to adopt a special focus child shall be well-considered. Applicants shall be capable of caring for a special need child and be responsible for the well-being of the child.
2. The reason of being single and attitude towards marriage. Applicants shall have clear indication of willingness to appoint male figures as role models for the adopted child, and welcome male friends to join family gatherings. 3. Applicants shall have received inter-country adoption training and training specifically for special needs child adoption so as to understand fully the physical and psychological needs of special needs children.
4. Detailed nurturing and rehabilitation plan. Applicants shall be qualified personally and socially for caring special needs children and have wide social and family supporting network which can provide assistance any time. 5. other advantages for caring special needs children.
IX. Guardians appointed by the applicants shall provide written
Statement as consent to act as the guardian of the adopted child. X. If the applicant has a stable relationship and lives with a male partner, t he requirements of couple applicants shall be applied.

China Center of Adoption Affairs


SO IF YOUR SINGLE ~ PLEASE SEE PREVIOUS POST! :)

READ THIS !

http://thebigmamablog.com/8994/love-never-fails/

'cause it's good.

Fingerprint.......

appointments came over the weekend!

One step closer .

:)

Life is too short to spend it angry, bored, or dull
-Barbara Johnson

HOMESCHOOL PROM 2011

Great Odds!


Caleb and His Best Girl!



Caleb and Miss Lauren!

Memories Galore!!!

I love my teenagers...just a great bunch of kids.

I am so blessed.

"BABY" FRIENDS

BABY FRIENDS: The people you have to find to hang out with when you realize that you are 40 years old and most of your current friends have children preparing for college............and your still buying Baby slings and eco-friendly diapers.

Unfortunately(for me), most of these "Baby Friends "are in their EARLY 20's and tell you how much you remind them of "their MOM".

CAN YOU HEAR THAT PHONE RINGING???

No? Oh.....Maybe that WAKE-UP CALL was just for me. :)

Today...........

My Baby Turns


2 YEARS OLD!

Happy Birthday, Beka- Boo!

You Make Us Giggle!!

We Love You!